24 for 24!

There is that one fine day when a strand of gray hair silently registers its presence, deep and away from the gazing eye. Then, one becomes two and soon, you know how you look like your grandparent too. And then suddenly comes another day when George Costanza from Seinfeld makes more sense than any of the spiritual forces in one's life. It is alternatively replaced by a profound sense of self-actualisation that we are all the six-year old Calvin in 20/30/40/whatever year old body suits.


There is also that day when one looks at oneself in the mirror and dares to ask questions tougher than "what's for lunch today" and "if the shoes go well with the dress". Well, that was my day sometime last week. When I realised my 24 revolutions around the sun, considering my gene-pool and other externalities, is probably quarter of my life done and dusted.


Buzzfeed lists may not fit my bill for life-advice. I ingest the bitter and sweet-placebo pills myself and arrive upon the answers, like Rahul Dravid silently pegged at the crease and slaving away to salvage some meaning in the mess. What follows below is not my advice to other 20-somethings, it's an attempt to pen (for my future self) the lessons that have enriched me for what I am today. And yet, I humbly submit that there's plenty more to be knocked into the head of mine, fortified in the heart of mine and imbibed in the life of mine. Here goes my 24 for 24!


1. Laugh- There's nothing more liberating than laughing it off. Whether it is a poor joke, a life tragedy, an insult, a compliment, a look at your inner self- just laugh, openly and heartily. It has saved me time and again from being trapped in the vagaries of life.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
These shy kids at Jhabua, Madhya Pradesh refused to interact with me, until I broke the ice by making funny faces. In return, they taught me to laugh at oneself by slipping into helmets twice the size of their own heads.

2. Let it go- I can't change everything in the Universe. Heck, I may not even be able to change anything in the Universe. What do I do about it? Just let it go. I imagine my insignificant ego floating like a fragile paper-boat in the sometimes stormy, sometimes peaceful sea.

3. Silence is golden- When the chaos of life ceases into the backdrop of an engulfing silence, where one can revel in an absolute state of nothingness, there is no greater bliss. Silence, slowly but surely, promises answers.

4. Listen/Receive- This naturally follows going with a flow and silencing the mind. The more I listen, the more I receive signs. Signs of things that can't be told, that can't be seen, that can't be experienced by the senses-- that can only be received in a heightened moment of awareness of the environment around me.

5. Engage- Nobody is too great or too mediocre or too insignificant to ever be dismissed. Reaching out to people irrespective of differences has been the most empowering act of building a valued world around me. Surprisingly sarcasm might seem witty but the real intellectual challenge is to practice kindness.

With little Jigme (Jimmy) understanding how spiders climb the wall, in the rural Haa Valley, Bhutan. His half-toothed grin and impeccable English, endless banter about his school, friends, likes and dislikes, is a memory I cherish forever. Engaging with children has become a naturally joyous act now.

6. Give!- Give all that you can, all the time. Give love, give music, give books, give time, give efforts, give! Give! Give! GIVE UNCONDITIONALLY. What I give away was never mine, will never be, so what's not to give?

'Mother Earth provides for our desires, the Lord, our Father, is the most compassionate'- words from Maithreem Bhajata.
I have this message stuck on my door, only to remind myself, that what I accumulate was never my own.
And hence, to give and give more than what I take. It is an attempt, and I do my best.

7. Walk- I love the world I live in and I respect the world I live in, not because of what my eyes and head have taught me. It is because I have seen tribal people walk for miles and miles to make a living. It is because somebody has walked for their freedom. It is because I walk, wholly one with the world around me. These realisations are borne only on foot, not ever on wheels, not ever on wings. Walk, whenever you can and for as far as you can.

When somebody says they can recognise every tree in the vicinity, every stone on their path, the sense of identification with the surroundings is unmissable. From there also stems an onus to be responsible and nurturing of the world around.
It comes mostly through walking.
(From my time at Agragamee, Odisha)

8. Read (and write)- How worlds seamlessly merge and come within the reach of my fingers just between the written word is a ceaseless wonder! Then imagining all the amazing possibilities of the knowledge so attained, and in my capacity to share it again in words is the most fulfilling process of learning. I write, but you could be painting, sculpting, singing or dancing. It matters greatly that you reveal in some form what you have learnt.

9. Stare- Do I even need to say how the flowers, the stars, the birds, the waves and the waving trees are just right there? All the time?! Why aren't we making it a conscious lifestyle habit? Wander, stare and keep at it. Let the splendour of Nature unabashedly reveal her best to you.

If only I could tell the stories of the wind painted on the sky,
the number of times the windows laughed at me on the sly,
And gleefully remarked, "you are trapped in. Why, oh why?"
How such images remain forever in the mind's eye.
(SECMOL, Leh-Ladakh)

10. Breathe- deeply, consciously, daily. Try it.

11. Company matters- Not the kind that is the funky Google or the all-too powerful Reliance. Who are the people around me? Are they diverse individuals who compel me to think in new ways, try out new things and reinstate something positive about life? I carefully manicure the company I keep. No place for toxic weeds.

Yes, it is my privilege to have such great friends who are witty and understanding enough to know what to put on my birthday cake. What more do I ask? They are my greatest treasures.

12. Find a mentor- Finding really good mentors, those who were able to flag off for me the mistakes that they did but I shouldn't repeat, has been the one magical trick in staying on-course with my professional goals.

13. Mentor somebody- Yes, now I consciously return the favour to anybody and everybody. We- the whole of humanity- are a fast-growing network of transformative individuals. The wave of change can be tough; one hand reaching out can make a life of difference.

14. Touch- There are fewer things more pleasurable than feeling the grass beneath one's feet, eating a morsel with the hand, grazing the backside of a fallen leaf or patting the head of a dog. So too with gardening/farming, a hearty handshake and a warm hug. Consciously, it establishes a connection with the world around us in subtle and powerful ways.

Where bonds are not of blood, a hug can cement them.
(With my co-fellows at the ICICI Fellows Program. Peers, friends and philosophers for a lifetime)

15. Share- Every dose of happiness, every small byte of knowledge, every miniscule act of kindness multiplies and creates ripples in ways that the human mind cannot fathom, in ways the human heart cannot behold. Sharing my opinions (carefully worded), my joys, my gifts, my time, my energy is the simplest way to tell somebody that I still care about them. It is redemption delivered in our lifetime.

16. Hope, hope some more- Cynicism drains. Idealism though exhausting, also nourishes our individual selves, to wake up day after day. Some days when it is difficult to be human, the promise of a better future is all that keeps one going. "Hope is the best of things."

17. Family matters- It is true that one can only choose their friends and not their family. However, it is equally true that one can influence the family to the same extent as the family influences them. Broken families, families struck by multiple tragedies or families that have simply given up are very real. And no one can be blamed. Building these relationships brick by brick, person to person, event to event, meal to meal and phone call to phone call has been the greatest experience of my adult existence. How miraculously we stood, and still stand by each other is the litmus test of human sacrifice and compassion. I am richer for every relative I have and I am immeasurably grateful for each one of their remarkable influence in shaping me as I stand today.

18. Seek- Pursue, ponder and persevere to find that sweet spot of inner peace, that rock-bed of meaning and the very purpose of waking up each day. Seek sincerely.

Seeking within is akin to a pilgrimage. It is exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally. Yet when the voice of reason arrives, the effort would be the most rewarding. It is a journey that one must consciously undertake.

19. Chase- The complexities, the externalities, the anomalies-- are all just excuses. Chase what deeply matters to you. Chase (I repeat myself) like it is the last bus home. Chase like it is the unforgettable scent of your beloved. Chase like it is the only life-force that can redeem your very existence. I am doing it now. It is unbelievably tiring. It is also inexplicably exhilarating!

20. Empathise-I did not know the true meaning of this word until I farmed with the farmers; witnessed a class in the most basic primary school in a village; stood lost at the untimely demise of a kin; lost my way in deep jungles; sobbed uncontrollably on the shoulder of a poor tailor who gifted me a dress, which was all her week's income, as a mark of camaraderie; sat miles away when the city I called home drowned in a deluge. Now I know what it is to feel for another, like one feels for themselves. Empathy pushes you to act. IT IS NOT SYMPATHY. Nobody needs sympathy, EVER.

21. Be kind to yourself- Mistakes happen, deadlines are missed, precious time is lost and some irretrievable things harbour regret, but so what? So bloody what? We survive another day. Nothing has added more meaning to my days than indulging in a little nap some afternoon, a stroll between the workday, an ice-cream when all else was crumbling and a timely pat on the back telling that we have gotten this far and we can keep it going. Alright?

With Jeff, my friend's Lab Retriever. No greater joy in basking in the company of a ball of fur and in the winter sun. I sometimes accord myself such divine treatment. It revitalises everything about life.

22. Believe- If you don't stand for something, you fall for everything. I simply cannot afford that fall. I believe. I believe stronger and harder day after day.

23. Travel- My life has been nothing if it isn't a chronicled lesson learnt on the wheels on a tractor, a bus, a train, a plane. My life is nothing if it doesn't hold for me the glorious possibility of taking to the bike, a dive, an adventurous trek or a long hike. My life is only what has pushed me beyond the limited expanse of my immediate setting. Travel is that promise I make and keep to myself.

The colours, the cuisines, the clothes, the cultures! The magical act of travelling has broken down prejudices, founded friendships, piled a case of postcards and left me with enough matter to mull until apocalypse.
(Nomadic tribes of Jhabua, Madya Pradesh)

24. Risk- You ain't gettin' the biscuit, if you don't risk it.


What the coming years hold for me, I do not know. Yet, I am grateful for every waking moment of my present, the consciousness of the present and the mature excitement for the future. The possibilities are infinite and my ego is insignificant. So… Yes, I can! :)